The Law Firm

This summer has really seen the proliferation of bizarre reality shows: from that ballroom dancing competition combining B TV “personalities” with real performers, to reform camps where we get to see brat kids toughing it out in the wilderness to learn about respect (yeah, like fending off a bear will drive a point about respect) or to learn about being a Hilton all through to going to college with Tommy Lee (coming soon). When confronted with previews for these shows, I often wonder, what will they come up with next?

Well, my question has been quickly answered last night. Somewhere in between all these weird concepts was the Law Firm. As soon as I came home yesterday, my brother told me about this Apprentice-like show with lawyers. “It’s so you! You have to watch it so that you know what you are getting yourself into”, he said. As in “so you!” he actually meant, being gung-ho about rules and procedure or that I am known to maul anyone that will try to oppose me.

I haven’t seen many episodes of the Apprentice, but during the few minutes I actually watched it, all I saw were self-conscious people bickering about stupid business ideas.

Anyhoo, the Law Firm turned out exactly as expected: a carbon copy of the Apprentice but in a legal setting. Change the title of President and CEO for Managing Partner, the stupid business ideas for ludicrous claims, all down to the trademarked “You’re fired!” to “I have made a decision”. It’s exactly the same, even the kind of people participating is the same! They had the nice girls, the full-of-themselves, the supposedly quiet type as well as the overly aggressive male b*tch, or the equivalent of the Apprentice’s Omorosa (heard she was pretty nasty).

In yesterday’s episode there were 2 cases presented to the would-be legal eagles:

1) A woman’s three-legged dog (I am NOT making this up) got mauled by her neighbour’s 2 menacing and massive dogs. She is suing her neighbour for damages or to get them put to sleep. The neighbour claims that it was her dog that ventured in his yard and that his dogs were adequately fenced in and the negligence was on her part.

2) A county coroner used his flashing lights to pull over a woman to warn her that she was speeding. Unlike a policeman, a coroner does not have the authority to stop people. Since she saw red and blue lights, she stopped and complied. After seeing him at a restaurant later and learned about his real position, she is suing him for impersonation that has caused her mental distress and anguish to the point she had to consult. The coroner, on the other hand, claims that he was only exercising his civic duty and wanted to protect her from a possible accident.

It was funny to see these suit-clad serious types working hard on defending the interest of a 3-legged dog. The team defending it even brought the dog to the courtroom! For both cases, they went through the whole weepy opening arguments to dramatic closing argument. In between, we were witness to many flare-ups, blow-ups and backstabbing among team members.

I work in a law department and a team approach is paramount. I guess that with $250,000 in play, team spirit is quickly forgotten. I am left to wonder: if these people were indeed very good lawyers, where success = $$$, why would they need to embarrass themselves in this contest? But then again, these are ambulance chasers… how much money can one make basing a career on defending (nut)cases like these?

Of course, this being a reality show, people need to get booted off; 2 of them did get kicked off and will now try to milk and stretch their 5 seconds of fame. So, look out for Kelly and another dude.

I must admit that it was just what it was supposed to be: entertaining. The Americans are good at that, being entertaining in all aspects of their society, even in the courtroom. After watching this, I guess that this gives any legal drama show freak the impression that they too can become a lawyer… Since this is from the same producers as Ally McBeal and L.A. Law…hum, maybe they simply just couldn’t afford actors…

Here’s a reality check: after seeing that show, it just confirms that I do not want to become a civil, criminal or any other form of people litigator. I don’t think I would have the patience to deal with that kind of bs. Unlike what my brother thinks, I doubt that my future workplace will be similar: contracts and business litigations rarely bring up that level of emotion...at least, I hope not!

I’m still alive… and p***ed off!

At last… an update! Yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. You have to thank my new found e-friend, Diana, for this one. If it weren’t for her, it would probably have taken another looong while.

This past month has been rich in emotion and action. Between my computer breaking, the angst of turning 24 (and realising that I am now old!) and having to reconfigure my future, it has been a busy time that will require many posts to sort this out. First, here is the latest instalment of my Law School saga.

Rejected! (Part II)

From my last post, you know that I have been royally rejected by McGill and was still waiting for UdeM to give me the key to my future on a silver platter. From the title of this section, you probably already guessed what really happened.

On June 30th, date at which UdeM updated their website, I learned that, yet again, was deemed unworthy of studying Law. Needless to say that I was über devastated. At the precise moment I read “nous regrettons…”, I saw my whole future crumble before my eyes: Goodbye long and sleepless nights, goodbye hard exams and goodbye condo on Nun’s Island. Instead, all I pictured was nothingness, as if someone had pushed me off a cliff. It may sound exaggerated, but for a long while, going to study Law in Sept 2005 was the only option I considered and anything else was just impossible. Well, this was a pretty brutal wake-up call that forced me to come up with a Plan B, C, D all the way down to Z.

My colleagues, whom many are lawyers, were equally surprised of my rejection. Being a rooster, it kinda helped the ego a little.

The official reason of my painful rejection: this year’s number of applicants was just overwhelming and, unlike past years, all offers were accepted. Usually, people send applications for more than one school (me being one of them). However, there are some people, instead of making a choice, accept all offers and drop them at the very last minute when classes actually start. This leaves me, and all 55 other people on the waiting list, stranded.

It’s no consolation to be told: “If you applied last year, you would have gotten in”. Well, registration person, maybe I didn’t apply because… I was too busy actually finishing a useful degree!!

The shock soon turned into frustration when I learned that my computer marks were what really brought my evaluation down. I couldn’t believe that this error done while I was still young and foolish would still haunt me today. It doesn’t matter that I did rather well and honourably finished a bachelor degree in Finance, it doesn’t matter that I scored A’s in relevant commerce courses; it all came down to the fact that I can’t program in C++ nor assembly. Who knew that becoming a lawyer would actually involve hard-core programming knowledge? (I can say that in my workplace, it is really not the case!). Now, I really feel cheated.

In my usual ruckus causing style, I was soon enough firing a letter to the dean explaining to her how unjustly I was evaluated and that their faculty would be losing a valuable-member-full-of-potential-that-would-make-them-proud-and-put-them-on-the-map candidate by rejecting me. The letter was pretty harsh (I told them that their marks-only evaluation sucked, but in more diplomatic terms), but it sure made me feel better. Although I made them 25$ richer (yes, there was a fee associated with this procedure…why am I not surprised?), it still doesn’t buy me the guarantee of getting accepted this year.

In the meantime, I got accepted to the Certificate program in Law. That’s their watered-down version of the bachelor program (it’s 30 credits – equivalent to the 1st year of Law school) and a back door to the regular Law program. Since it’s part of Continued Ed, it’s all nite classes with mostly people of the working kind. That’s a plus for me, since I’m still in the studying mode and will be able to continue working. The minus: there will probably be many aspiring Law students that got rejected, like myself, and that also see this as the back door solution. What does this mean? Well, that I have to be at the very top of my class and pretty much ace everything. It’s going to be one hell of a competition, but hey, competition is part of this game.

I have decided to give myself another 2 tries at going to Law school and since they only admit people in the Fall, that means 2 years. Coming to this decision was not easy, it partly meant to postpone my dream. The present outcome of events was something that I did not foresee (rather, that I did not want to foresee) and accepting it is like taking cod-liver oil: hard to swallow. Not only are there implications for my professional life, but also in my personal (I’ll get to this at a later post).

At this point, all I can say is that it’s not over yet. Best case: the Dean realizes that the Registrars made an enormous boo-boo and grants me an acceptance letter via one of those village yellers (“Hear yee! Hear yee! UdeM hereby cordially invites you to humbly accept our VIP invitation to its Law Faculty.”). Worst case: they take my money and I am stuck with nite classes for the next 2 years. Ah… it ain’t over until the fat lady sings or in my case, the short girl yells.